He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
