It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize