you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
smell my finger.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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