I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
