no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize