I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
