OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
