So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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