dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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