I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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