All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
