in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
