So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
