you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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