Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
