Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
