I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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