I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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