Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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