So drunk its hurt
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
