Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize