Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
