things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my poor anus
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize