I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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