you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
