I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize