You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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