my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
