so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
