i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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