And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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