hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
