What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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