I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
