I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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