New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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