I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize