dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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