Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
