went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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