so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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