Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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