I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
