corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I will be naked everywhere
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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