At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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