this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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