so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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