"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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