My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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