Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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