ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
