Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
two words...techno handjob
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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