? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
