I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
