Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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