good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
