just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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