you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
