I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
