tell your sister to shave her snatch
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
