I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
