The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
