If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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