How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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