I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I intend to get homeless drunk
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
